Thursday 10 April 2014

How to Beat the Bridal Blues

Planning a wedding can be downright painful ... and all the people pleasing it often requires can zap the spirit and joy out of being a bride. Bridal stress is also pretty unique. It is essentially temporary, yet is connected to much deeper family issues and emotional challenges. It can easily be triggered by practical issues and is exacerbated by family dynamics . There is often a decision to make, or challenge to resolve, at every turn of that journey to the altar. Every little nuance -- and nuisance -- can put you in a momentary tizzy. It is no wonder some women get the bridal blues. Check out this fab guest posting from Tamarisk over at Getting Fluent with Your Feelings. She's full of advice for the stressed out bride....

Here are some of the challenges, and the tips, for brides-to-be:

1. Bridezillas are made, not born. It’s supposed to be the happiest time of your life – and you want it to be – yet planning a wedding is like working a second job as a project manager. You have to find the time to tend to a multitude of details as part of an already busy schedule while managing a plethora of people, family anxieties and demands, your groom, your emotions and an array of tricky wedding dynamics.

A bride has to include stress management, self-nurturing and time to chill out as an integral part of her wedding planning process. When you feel the stress building, take time out, go for a walk, slip into a movie, get a massage, go for a manicure, write in a journal, do something un-wedding. You have to love, honour and cherish yourself if you want to be loved, honoured and cherished by someone else!

2. Everyone has something to say about your wedding – and you are not alone in feeling you can’t win! You may be showered with congratulations and gifts, but you are simultaneously bombarded with unsolicited advice, wedding horror stories you don’t want to hear, and negative vibes from well-meaning friends and relatives.

People tend to see your wedding as a chance to fulfil their own needs and family dynamics erupt in every which direction because as the clan prepares to gather they begin to act out what it’s all about for them – not you! The issues are classic – mum wants it to be the wedding she never had, sister or best friend wishes it were her, your groom is afraid to stand up to his family.

A Bride has to clarify the wedding she truly wants, be assertive and set clear boundaries that no one can penetrate with words or attitudes. Learn the power of saying NO!

3. Getting married can stir up a lot of emotions. The process itself sets forth a period of growth and change that can be very confusing and nerve -wracking. Once you decide to marry you will begin the process of getting ready for marriage, and unresolved emotions about parents and family, past loves and concerns about the person you have chosen will come to the surface to be explored.

A bride can embrace the awareness that she is embarking on a journey of evolution from one part of life to another, and recognise and address the emotions and fears that arise. Trust they are natural and pay attention to any issues that might require support or counselling.

It is important to stay on top of your emotions and be honest with yourself during this time. Don't sweep things under the rug.

 Tamarisk Saunders-Davies runs a successful online counselling service for women, focusing on career-orientated women who are struggling with issues of self-confidence and self-esteem. She's also my best friend!

For more information and to read her blog, click here.

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